About six months ago this postcard sailed through our letterbox.

I didn’t have any friends on holiday, any that were interested in basking sharks or would send me a postcard “just because”. I even smudged the writing on “Marley” to see if it was printed spam, but it’s actually someone’s real handwriting. A real person wrote and sent this.

I was quite confused, but things got even stranger when I read what was on the back. You can click the image for a larger version.
From what I can tell, it was sent from Scotland – I think the postmark says Glasgow – and it’s addressed to a Master Helme. Obviously that isn’t me, and neither is it my girlfriend or our housemate at the time. In fact, to the best of my knowledge, none of the previous tenants went by the name Master Helme either. I presume whoever wrote this postcard knew him from a long time ago.

The handwriting is obviously a child’s, but here, as accurately as I can make it, is what it says:

To Marley

I no you don’t layk theis but we haf bigin been to balamory and we hard to go on to a balamory trip and to Marley from Alfie and Franco

The first section

“I know you don’t like this” is absolutely fascinating. Why didn’t Marley like it that they were in Balamory? Why did they have to go on that trip?

The more I read it, the more questions come to my mind. The address is written much more clearly – is it a parent or much older sibling? Why is it only addressed to Master, not Mr Helme?

However, nothing prepared me for the last bit.

It comes after the names, so I suppose it was added as an afterthought:

I fell off my bike and killed my self

I have read and re-read that line so many times, but I’m still not sure what it says. It looks like it says “killed”, and I can’t think of anything else it could say, but of course that doesn’t make any sense at all.

It’s such a bizarre postcard to get by accident that I can’t help but wonder what Marley would have made of it. What do you think of it?

As you’ll have noticed from the cool new banner – although subscribers, you’re missing out – today is the 14th birthday of Miles “Tails” Prower.

I can hardly believe it’s fourteen years since all that fuss over Sonic Twosday, when everyone was excited about the sequel to what was then (still is, maybe) the best game ever. It did quite well, I seem to recall.

Sega, in their great wisdom, have chosen today to launch the new Sonic game on Xbox 360. I think my gesture is much nicer.

Happy birthday, Tails. Even though you’re not as cool as Sonic – who got an entire site redesign – you’re still cool enough to get an article mentioning your happy day.

Links:

The best Sonic 2 page ever

When Nintendo announced that the DS would be able to connect to the ‘net, I was astonished. Although the Dreamcast and Xbox Live have forged the path for online multiplayer, being able to take your handheld on the move and pop online to blast, race and trade was uncharted territory. How, then, did Nintendo get it so wrong?

This time it’s personal

Two games have brought me to this conclusion: Metroid Prime Hunters and Mario Kart DS. Don’t get me wrong, they’re both excellent games and much higher quality than I could have expected from a portable game. I  remember when more than two colours on screen was a big deal! No, it’s not the games themselves I have a problem with, but how the online competition works.

Nintendo set out to make online play simple, and they succeeded. Connect to your router, and two or three buttons later you can be warming up for a hot deathmatch or a blazing race against anyone in the world. That’s the problem though: it could be anyone, and who cares if they beat a stranger?

The joy of multiplayer

It’s not just about having another brain to battle, but another personality, but Nintendo’s opponents are devoid of personality. They might have nicknames – “noobkiller” sticks in my mind, though why you’d be proud of that I don’t know – but that’s it. Stripping communication may have made the games safe, but it’s made them dull too; you can’t tickle them with insults or congratulate them on a good game. They are cold opponents, and for all the interaction you’re allowed with them they might as well be robots.

I understand Nintendo did this to protect the kiddies, and it does mean you don’t get the wealth of idiots – irony absolutely intended – that plague the world of online games with repeated spam and insults, but I do at least like to be sure the person I’m matched against is human.

Imperfect but balanced?

It’s not all bad though, of course. The very idea of being able to play a handheld console game against anyone in the world is incredible; I can visit my friends in Animal Crossing and drop off some presents, take them on in a little light competition in Mario Kart and even voice chat with them in Metroid Prime Hunters.

Of course, playing against your friends will always be more fun, but an online game  should still try to create a similar sense of community, of playing with and not just against someone.

I doubt Nintendo will change their policy on online games, but unless they do you’ll just feel like you’re playing against bots with names, not real players like you. The key to genuine multiplayer joy is interaction with your opponent, not just in terms of the game’s mechanics but in communicating as a player too. Let’s hope Nintendo realise that soon.

  I’m listening to Baby Be Mine, from Thriller [Bonus Tracks] by Michael Jackson

I must be the only gaming-related blog in the entire world NOT running a story about PS3. This is because, in all honesty, it means nothing to me. I like some games on my PS2, but that’s as far as it goes.

The main purpose of this post is to alert you to a bit of a tidy-up I’ve had around here. “Harvest Moon Diaries” at the top has been changed to general “Diaries” now, which includes HM:AWL and now my old Animal Crossing has a home here too. It’s out of date now, but it’s still an enchanting story of talking animals, happiness and friendship. More games should be like this.

The other reason I thought “what a wonderful world”, apart from the fact the song was used in Strictly Come Dancing tonight, was that a friend of mine in New York just had a tattoo, and was able not only to send me a photo of the outline but also talk to me via MSN whilst she was getting the tattoo. Unfortunately it’s not Sega-related, but nobody’s perfect. Still, isn’t technology wonderful?

Expect another update tomorrow!

I’m listening to The Storm, from Some Cities by Doves

I made my first entry in my Animal Crossing diary on Sunday, May 16th, 2004. Blimey, that’s a fair old while ago..!

I’ve made quite a few entries, which I’ll be putting up one at a time. I really enjoyed writing them and I think they’re pretty cool – hopefully you’ll like them too!

Sunday, May 16, 2004

Got up nice and early this morning to send the code which, I hope, will get me the NES game Soccer. If not, my villagers will probably be mightily confused by my nonsensical letters which, if I’m honest (which I am), is no surprise. I haven’t heard back yet, but there’s always tomorrow.

I took a trip to nearby Laroowoo [Hannah's town], where Crazy Redd had his Black Market set up. He was trying to sell a Blue Table, a Water Bird and a Fine Painting. All pretty useless and not what I was looking for (I need more Modern furniture!), so that was disappointing.

I mulled over Redd’s poor stock on the trip back to Eville [my town], and when I got back I found that one of my favourite villagers, Cesar the gorilla, had followed me on the train to Laroowoo, but hadn’t come back! This is the second time he’s moved out, so I’m starting to think it’s not to be. I think I need to take fewer train journeys.

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Monday, May 17, 2004

What? Tom Nook’s is closed! Of course, it’s his special sale today, and I missed it by ten minutes. Darn! I’d better take the train to Laroowoo to sell these fossils.

I haven’t got my NES Soccer game yet, so I don’t know what’s going on there. I think I’m going to go to the Post Office and bash some heads!

There’s a letter on the back, which I think might be for me! Time to write some letters and see if it’s my long-lost present.

Twirp asked me to get his watch back from Pudge, which I did in record time and received a heart shirt – he must love me!

I still haven’t managed to find the source of that annoying clicking sound. I think it might be some sort of underground insect, but if it is I can’t find it by digging. I’ll investigate further!

I just caught a large char! That one’s going straight to Blathers! On the way back from the Museum, I ran into Gulliver on the beach, who started telling me a joke and then stopped, so I’ll never know how it ends! I did get a tribal mask from him, which should go nicely… erm… into Tom Nook’s paws.

I’m just about to hop on the train to nearby Laroowoo. I hope nobody follows me this time! I’ll have to play as Hannah and try to get some of the characters to migrate back. I wonder who I’ll see on the train… it’s Rover! I wonder why Sow Joan’s always on the train with me, do you think she’s stalking me? Seeing as she can barely stay awake [obviously caffeinated turnips are in dire need] I don’t think she’s much of a threat.

Blaire got angry at me because I said dieting was boring. Well it is! Maybe she was angry because I pretended to be interested when I was talking to Yuka. Tom Nook didn’t have anything good to buy and there was no-one special in town, so I think I’m going to head back home.

I GOT IT! SOCCER IS MINE! I’m off to go play it now. Rock on!

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Tuesday, May 18, 2004

No big surprises today, it was a gentle jaunt through the land of Eville. Three animals moved in – Alfonso the Mario-wannabe crocodile, Static the supercharged-squirrel and Stu, my old moo-dude friend who’s lived here before. In fact, his new place is in exactly the same spot as his old house, surrounded by flowers and everything. It’s beautiful

I went to Nook’s and bought a blue clock for Ellie, who complained she never knows the time when she’s inside. I got Boots’ organiser back and received a reward of some 837 Bells. Not too shabby! After that I caught a couple of cockroaches [try saying that ten times quickly] and got some exotic fruit to sell. After scouring the beach for shells and making around 16,000 Bells in half an hour, I decided I should answer Nature’s call, and went inside to bed.

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Wednesday, May 19, 2004

In keeping with what Boots and others told me, I didn’t let the rain dampen my spirits, so I went around the town trying to cheer up the other villagers. I don’t know if it worked on everyone – Boots himself got all grumpy when I asked “who needs umbrellas, and he called me stupid! – but I think I brought a little sunshine into some animals’ lives. That made me feel better.

What made me feel even better was when I finally caught a snail! I’ve been on the lookout for one of those blighters for a while, and I always thought they came from rocks, but when I saw something slithering on the flowers I knew I had to get it. I took it to Blathers immediately, who rather confusingly put it in the insects section. Never mind, at least it’s in a good home now.

After delivering a watch to Kabuki in Laroowoo, I came back just after 4 o’clock, which on a rainy day means only one thing – coelacanth time! I’d previously only caught one a day, but I wanted to wait until the post was delivered at 5, so I spent a good hour trawling the seas for the living fossil. In the end I caught some seven or eight of the blighters, netting me a very handsome profit of over 130,000 Bells! After Pete delivered my mail, including a notice of departure from Pudge, I decided to call it a day, and went inside to put my feet up, my future secure.

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Thursday, May 20, 2004

It’s a beautiful sunny day in Eville, and I left my house to be greeted by one of my best friends – the flashing mail icon! I picked up a couple of letters from the Museum, and a few from friends too, but they haven’t quite figured out what to buy me yet. They will do though, one day!

I hopped around town for a bit, just saying hello to everyone to keep them sweet, and Copper mentioned he’d seen a sports car in Acre B-4. I knew what this meant, so I ran like the wind and found my favourite neckerchief-wearing [and very nifty] giraffe, Gracie! My friend Hannah from Laroowoo had successfully claimed a citrus shirt from Gracie earlier, and I was confident of emulating the feat. Unfortunately my first try was a failure – it didn’t even sparkle! I came back later with renewed determination [and muscle strength], but still only managed to claim a weedy No. 4 shirt. Somewhat dejected, I trudged home – not even the sight of my dancing Gyroid could lift my hopes. It’s going to be a long night.

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Saturday, May 22nd 2004

On arrival into Eville I checked the mail and found absolutely nothing exciting. I headed over to Twirp’s house in the next acre, but he didn’t have the time to talk to me because his niece was coming over, and wanted a ball. I quickly found one for him, but then I cackhandedly (cackfootedly?) kicked it into a pond. Somewhat embarrassed, I ran past Twirp to see Blaire.

Blaire used to be a villager in Eville at the very beginning, and it’s good that she’s moved back. She wanted her videotape from Ellie, which I swiftly got and received some petal paper in return. Not too shabby.

I saw Cleo, and she was desperate for my Ammonite! She gave me a choice of wallpaper or flooring, and I chose the wallpaper to receive a mod wall! Not my best trade, but she was begging for the ammonite, and I live to give. Running past the Wishing Well I saw Boots, who wanted me to write a letter. No problem.

Past the Well, a familiar buzzing sound reached my ears, and a mosquito appeared and started to chase me! I swung my net at it once but missed horribly, but I just managed to evade its attempt to bite me. Turning back, I took another swipe at it and this time it nestled beautifully into my net. Victory! I ran into Stella the sheep’s house and she was so keen on my mosquito, she offered me 2,610 Bells for it! Well, you don’t often get an offer like that, so I sold it to her. Definitely one of my better transactions!

Bumping into my old friend Stu, he wanted me to deliver some clothes to Boots, which I did in record time, and received a Lunar Lander for my troubles. Hannah from Laroowoo is collecting space furniture, but she already has a lander, so I sold it to Tom Nook. It was nice of Boots to give me some furniture, though!

I dug up a couple of Croakoids, a Mega and a Tall version, which I sold to Nook. There are enough Gyroids in my house to last me a lifetime, they drive me mad!

I found an old Imperial Tile in my inventory which I thought would match the wallpaper I had in the living room. It actually turned out I had Lattice Wall, so I went to Tom Nook’s to see if he had any Imperial Wall in stock. It just so happened that he did! Unfortunately I had no money on me at the time, so I had to scrounge together a few items – cherries, clothing and a painting – in order to pay for it. I finally got my mitts on it and took it home, and now my living room looks more co-ordinated, if still a bit messy. I really should get around to tidying it up one of these days!

After stopping off to see K.K., and be entertained by his Calypso, I took the train to Laroowoo. When I got there, it was absolutely tipping it down with rain! Up went my new Mod Umbrella to protect me from the downpour, and I headed out into the night.

I soon saw a snail on the flowers, which I nabbed with ease. I saw K.K. again, and this time he played K.K. Soul – two new songs in one night, wicked.

I managed to bring Pudge’s organiser back to him, as since he’d moved to Laroowoo nobody could find him! Thankfully, I’m a resourceful chap, so I hunted him down like a stinking… bear. He was so pleased to see it again, he gave me some wallpaper – Imperial Wallpaper! Hooray! I’d just sold half my worldly possessions in order to buy some, and here I was getting some for free! In a somewhat unhappy frame of mind, I boarded the train home, and went to admire my new wallpaper. Two lots of it. Beautiful.